I have been having some issues accessing my companies Azure portal, I am supposed to be an administrator for it and have full access. Today I tried logging a support call online, this has been one of the most annoying and frustrating experiences in my life, after what happened today I have been left with the impression that Micro$haft do not give a fuck about their customers.
The problems all started from when I tried to logon, I knew something was up because it asked if it was company or personal email, I had used this account to log onto the portal countless times and was only asked this the very first time I used it. I chose company and gained access, everything looked fine, the company name & my name appeared in the top right corner but when I tried to access some of the resources there was nothing there. I then tried to check the subscription but there wasn’t one listed ?????? So after a bit of troubleshooting and lot of swearing I tried to open a support call through the portal. This is when the real nightmare started, on the support page I got one option only I selected it and had to supply some info, like the product I was using, what subscription issue I had, give a description of the issue. I then get sent to a page which had a number of things I could try (all of which I had already done), there were only 2 ways to leave the page – close it or click on a link, like an idiot I clicked on the link and ended up at the very first page I started off at with exactly the option. I spent ages looking for an email address or phone number I could call but NOTHING, ALL support options lead back to the same useless page.
Getting VERY frustrated I Googled “Micro$haft support phone number” and actually got a hit. I called the number and got onto a machine and listened to about 30 seconds of drivel about how the call will be monitored and the information used and if I did not agree to their terms I could basically go fuck myself, so I agreed. One of the options after this appeared promising so I selected it, got another recorded message and was transferred, just to start the process off all over again – how they record & use the info & how I could go fuck myself etc etc etc. Finally I got another set of options, the second one was EXACTLY what I needed, selected it with hope in my heart – just to get the ‘go fuck yourself’ message again, then the phone started ringing – life was looking up, maybe I would finally get some assistance !!!! LIKE FUCK – yet another automated message “We are closed’. FUCK OFF. After being on the phone for more than 5 minutes, not talking to a single human being I get told they are CLOSED, why the fuck couldn’t they say that at the beginning? or at least before the final ‘go fuck yourself’ message.
I think I’ll try an find some way of exacting some sort of revenge on them. Send a parcel of cow shit to a few high up employees maybe, find out someones direct phone number and then open ad for an escort service using it as the point of contact. Subscribe the CEO to a ton of porn & S&M mags. The possibilities are endless and the knowledge that I would be causing then even a fraction of the shit they put us through would make my day = until the next time I have to try and access their fucking “support” system.